Luận văn Nghiên cứu giao văn hoá Việt Nam – Hoa Kỳ về các biểu hiện phi ngôn từ thể hiện sự thất vọng

onal distance/ Proxemics - Time/ Chronemics - Lighting system - Color - Heat … Diagram 1: Classification of Nonverbal Communication 1.3.5. Nonverbal communication across culture As shown in the discussion of differences between NVC and verbal communication, nonverbal cues can be ambiguous even with people of the same culture. With people from different cultures, this is obviously more problematic. A big amount of nonverbal cues are culture-specific. This means these cues convey the messages that only members of that culture can interpret correctly. 1.4. DISAPPOINTMENT AND ITS NONVERBAL EXPRESSIONS The size of your success is measured by the strength on your desire, the size of your dream, and how you handle disappointment along the way Robert Kiyosaki Is there any one here who has not experienced disappointment in his or her life? It is one of the oldest human experiences. Each of us could make a lot of our unfulfilled wishes or seeds we planted which never grew into plants. Anyone who has hopes or dreams may be waited by some disappointment. When their hopes or dreams can not become true. Alexander Pope wrote “Blessed is the man who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed”. Disappointment is a problem which transcends economics. We can be well-off financially and still have all kinds of disappointment. We can be disappointed with our family members, disappointed with our friends, with our marriage, or jobs for not reaching whatever goals we have set for ourselves. We can be disappointed because our life lacks meaning and direction. Let us consider a situation described by David E. B. (Jan-Feb. 1985): your boss tells you he is delighted with your performance over the past year and is giving you a $5000 bonus. Are you pleased? If you were not expecting a bonus, you would be delighted. If you were expecting a $10,000 bonus, you would be disappointed. He (David E. Bell) claims that “Disappointment is, then, a psychological reaction to an outcome that does not match up to expectations”. In a broader view, Loralea Michaelis states “Disappointment is a characteristic feature of our shared condition as mortal creatures subject to the experiences of failure and frustration: our plans may go awry, our actions may have unwanted consequences, our expectations may be frustrated and, in a more general sense, we are rarely the kind of people we would like to be.” It is stated in a sermon in St. Ansgar’s Lutheran Church that “in the simplest terms, disappointment is unmet positive expectation. The word positive here is important. There are some unmet expectation which bring us joy and satisfaction and not disappointment. For example you might go to see a physician with the expectation that your symptoms will lead to a diagnosis of terminal cancer. You will not be disappointed if that expectation proves to be false. Disappointment occurs when we expect a certain good thing to take place and it doesn’t.” The same idea can be seen from Levering Bas “The question is whether expectation is a sufficient condition for disappointment. Do unfulfilled expectations by definition lead to disappointment? When a negative expectation is nourished, that is, when I expect something I would rather not see happen, and in fact it does not happen, then I feel relief instead of disappointment. The question is whether relief can been seen as the opposite of disappointment in the sense that the former is about a cheerful feeling and the latter about an unpleasant one. If I pass an exam about which I have had the most anxious expectations. I am first relieved, then glad. This means that when talking about disappointment, there are always desired expectations involved.” According to Moyo-Angle Bamidele, “everyone that has expectations and desires in life will experience disappointment in one way or the other” and we experience disappointment when: - When we expect something to happen soon but it does not - When input is not equal to output - When things does not work out as plan - When we believe too much in people - When we expect things to happen in our own ways but they do not. According to David. E. Bell (Jan.1985), disappointment is similar to regret: “Disappointment is the feeling of dissatisfaction that follows the failure of expectations to manifest. Similar to regret, it differs in that the individual feeling regret focuses primarily on personal choices contributing to a poor outcome, while the individual feeling disappointment focuses on outcome.” Francesco Marcatto and Donatella Ferrante claim that regret and disappointment are different emotions. They are both generated by comparing “What is” with “What might have been”. However, “the emotion of regret results from a comparison between an actual outcome and a better outcome that might have occurred had another option been chosen (choice- or –behavior-focused counterfactual). Conversely, disappointment stems from the comparison of an actual outcome with a better outcome that might have resulted had world events occurred differently (situation-focused counterfactuals) (van Djik, van der Pligt & Zeelenberg, 1999)” Disappointment may be very short-lasting and easy to transfer to another emotional state, anger, frustration or the like. This emotional state can also be very harmful because it may lead to the following in communication: - Lack of trust. - Destruction of relationship - Changing our perceptions to life, people and things we do. According to many researchers and the author’s personal observation, expressions of disappointment is highly-culture-controlled. In most Oriental countries, people, especially women, are taught not to express their emotional states, especially ones like disappointment, in social interaction in order to maintain the harmony in the community. However, at many points during the communication process, disappointment is intentionally expressed, not verbally but non-verbally, in order to let the partners to know our own emotional state. From the author’s own observation and analysis of videos and photos searched on the Internet, the most popular expressions for disappointment are as follows: Facial expressions: When disappointed, people seem to have abnormal head positions which include: side-tilted (left or right side), head-down (tilted forward) or face-up (to the ceiling). The side-tilted position can be found mostly when people are sitting while head-down and face-up is often found with standing postures. The eyes of disappointed people tend to lower down or to aim at nothing. Many cases are found with frowning eyes – eyebrows are pushed together. Another popular cue is the curve-up of eyebrows with frowning forehead. In addition, the disappointed gaze is not very often straight. It is often down-looking with lowered eyelids, sometimes up-looking or side-looking, especially, when people try to control the disappointment, they tend to move eye sight from side to side, avoiding eye contact with communicating partners. With mouth, there are some popular cues including: contorted (pushed to one side), pouting (upper and/or lower lip pushed up). Sometimes, the stiff lips are also found with hard-pressed lips and jaws making lips thinner than in normal state. There are still cases in which people have smirks – or contorted smiles. For gestures, it is the most common to find hand-with-face gestures and hand-with-head gestures. They can be: one palm covering one eye and/or cheek, one palm covering forehead, both hands covering face, one or both hands touching or pulling hair. With sitting postures, fisted hand or hands, open palm or palms pushing cheeks or supporting chin can be found. Another popular cue is the wide open arms with shrugging shoulders. With standing posture, the cue of arms over head (like religious gesture of Muslim people when praying to Allah) is also found. Besides, the followings are also met: thumb-down gesture together with spouting lips, head shaking from side to side while spouting lips and maintaining lower look. Disappointed postures vary into categories: sitting and standing. For sitting postures, the followings can be found: collapsed posture with slouching arms and head down, head resting on folded arms, whole body collapsed with chin resting on table, semi-lying posture (like ownership posture with feet on floor) and knees up head down. For standing and walking postures, the most common are collapsed standing posture with head down or face up, with slouching arms or hands resting on hips. The following shift-of-postures are regularly met: from normal posture, especially sitting one, shifting to a collapsed one with back resting; from standing posture shifting to a sitting or lying one. When people are trying to put their disappointment under control, they can shift the head from the normal state into a face-up (often found with middle open mouth), maintain some seconds and then back to the normal state. Followings are some illustrations of nonverbal expressions of disappointment. Head position: The head in this expression is little tilted to the left or right Facial cues: The lower eyelids are a bit pulled down and the eye gaze fixes at a low or sided position. Lips do not close completely and lip corners are a little pulled down. Posture: Standing or sitting posture, arms are folded in a standard arm-cross Head position: The head is often side-tilted. Facial cues: Both lower and upper eyelids fall down making the eye gaze a little down. The lower lip is a bit pulled down and the mouth does not completely close. Gesture: The arms are straight down along the body in standing posture or put on thighs in sitting one. Head position: The head is often in straight position. Facial cues: Both upper and lower eyelids fall down while inner corners of eyebrows are raised making a frowning forehead. The eye gaze is often a little down The lips are in normal state Gesture: Both hands are straight, holding cheeks Head position: The head is often bent forward and/or little tilted. Facial cues: The lower eyelids are pulled down with eyebrows curving up making the forehead frowning. The eye gaze is often fixed at a low position. Gesture: One hand supports the chin and covers the mouth with fingers close. Posture: This is a sitting posture with bending-down back, one elbow putting on the thighs. Facial cues: Both upper and lower eyelids are pulled down with eyebrows being pushed together. The eye gaze is fixed on the floor or a very low position. The lower lip is a bit pushed up making the area between lower lip and chin like a hollow. Head position: The head is straight or little forward-leaning. Facial cues: This face seems to have nothing “abnormal” except a little frown on the forehead made by the little raise and drawing-together of the inner corners of eyebrows. The eyes are expressive with low eye gaze which does not focus. Lips, chin and nose are in neutral states. Head position: The head is often straight or little tilted. Facial cues: Both upper and lower eyelids are pulled down while the inner corners of eyebrows are raised, making the curving lines on the forehead. The lower lip is raised whereas the lips corners are pulled down shaping the mouth into a reversed “u”. The muscles below lip corners are pulled down while the area between lower lip and chin is pulled up. Facial cues: Every part on the face is neutral except the eye. The upper eyelids are little drawn back making the eyes open but the eye gaze is at nothing – a blank look. Posture: This is sitting posture with knee up, head down. The chin rests on the knees and arms are put around the legs Head position: The head is often straight or little forward. Facial cues: The face here is mostly covered by the hand but normally it is neutral with close eyes. Gesture: One hand with spreading fingers cover most of the face, with fingers touching the face skin. Mouth and nose are often covered up. Head position: The head is side-tilted with the support from one hand over the ear. Facial cues: The face is often blank, with just some frown over the forehead. Posture: This is a sitting posture with knees raised to support arms (elbow position). Posture: This is a sitting posture in which knees are up, head is down. The back is bent forward and arms folded on the knees for the forehead to rest on. Facial cues: This is similar to sad face with eyelids pulled down. The eye gaze is often fixed at nothing. Cheeks are pushed up Gesture: Both hands open with fingers upward, holding cheeks and supporting chin. Posture: This is a sitting posture with legs folded, knees raised to support arms. The back is bent forward. Posture: This is a sitting posture with legs tightly close, vertical to the floor. The back is bent forward. Arms rest on knees and support the face. Hands open, palms are upward, covering the face. Posture: This is a walking posture with disappointed face and head down and straight arms Posture: This is a standing posture with disappointed face and head down. The body leans against something. Facial cues: The face is characterized with the raise of inner corners of eyebrows and a curving-lined forehead accompanied with an open mouth. Posture: This is a standing posture in which the knees are in a little lower position so legs are not straight. Legs are also straight in other variations. Gesture: Both arms are raised high to face. Hands are holding the head. Facial cues: This is often accompanied with open mouth and strongly-pressed teeth. The nose is pushed up while lip corners are drawn to face sides. Posture: It is a standing posture with knees in lower position so the whole body is lowered. Gesture: Both hands are in fists, putting in front of the chest. Facial cues: The face is upward with mouth opening. Posture: This is a standing posture with hands resting on hips. Posture: This is a standing posture with upper half of body bending down, hand or hands holding head. CHAPTER 2: METHODOLOGY 2.1. COMMENTS ON THE SURVEY QUESTIONNAIRES AND DATA COLLECTION METHOD: This research use data collected from various sources. Firstly, the most common expressions of disappointment have been found from video-sharing services, photo-sharing services on the Internet Then, questionnaires are distributed to Americans who have lived or worked with Vietnamese, and Vietnamese who have lived or worked with the Americans. Hybels claims “Often we do not recognize our own nonverbal behavior” (Hybels, 1992:109). This is a study on cross-cultural communication, so the author decided to investigate one’s nonverbal expressions of disappointment through the observation, perception and interpretation of their communicating partners. That is, the American informants were asked to give their comments on their Vietnamese communicating partners’ nonverbal expressions of disappointment, and the Vietnamese informants were asked to comment on the way their American communicating partners express their disappointment nonverbally. The questionnaire has three parts: Part 1 is designed for getting personal information of the informants including the length of stay or work with Vietnamese/American people and the informants’ understanding about host cultures or culture of their communicating partners. Part 2 investigates the most common nonverbal expressions of disappointment used by American and Vietnamese people. Here are some of the expressions believed to express disappointment and informants were asked to choose the frequency at which each expression is used by American and Vietnamese people. Question 1: From your personal observation, how often do Vietnamese people use the following nonverbal behaviors to express their disappointment? Please choose from 1 to 3 (1 = Never, 2 = Sometimes and 3 = Always) Part 3 includes three questions to get the information about American and Vietnamese people’s amount of expressiveness in general and under the influence of some components of communication such as communicating partners and communicating situations. The survey questions are as follows: Question 2: From your personal observation, do Vietnamese/ American people tend to clearly express or hide their disappointment? Question 3: From your personal observation, do Vietnamese/ American people express freely or control their disappointment with the following communicating partners (boss, colleague, subordinate, client, close friend, family member and stranger) Question 3: In the following situations (at home, in public places and at work), do Vietnamese/ American people express freely or control their disappointment? 2.2. COMMENTS ON THE INFORMANTS 45 survey questionnaires were handed out and 45 survey questionnaires returned to the author were then analyzed. There are 15 American informants and 30 Vietnamese informants. American informants have stayed or worked with their Vietnamese communicating partners from 0.5 year to 11 years while Vietnamese informants have stayed or worked with their American communicating partners from 0.5 year to 8 years. Therefore, all informants were divided into 2 groups basing on their length of stay or work with communicating partners: less than 1 year and more than 1 year. Similarly, the informants’ knowledge of their communicating partners’ culture varies and therefore informants were divided into 3 groups: much understanding, not much understanding and no understanding. The parameters of informants can be seen clearly in the table below. Table 1: Informants’ parameters 2.3. THE PROCEDURE OF DATA COLLECTION The pilot questionnaires are initially distributed among a small group as pilot ones. After being revised, the complete questionnaires are given to informants. However, there might be a few cases in which informants are reluctant and unwilling to answer the questions or they just put it randomly. Therefore, the findings should be thought to be suggestive and tentative. 2.4. DATA ANALYSIS METHOD After being collected, the data is statistically analyzed using quantitative method. The findings are mainly based on frequency distribution. CHAPTER 3: DATA ANALYSIS AND DISCUSSION OF THE FINDINGS 3.1. DATA ANALYSIS: 3.1.1. Most common expressions of disappointment used by Vietnamese and American people Table 2: American and Vietnamese common expressions of disappointment The table expresses the frequency of occurrence of some nonverbal expressions of disappointment in American and Vietnamese cultures. The most commonly used expression in American community is expression number 9 which is always used by 86.7%, sometimes used by 10% and never used by 3.3% of American people. Similarly, the most common expression in Vietnamese culture is expression number 5 which is also always used at the rate of 86.7%, sometimes used at the rate of 13.3% and never used at the rate of 0%. Expression No. 9 Expression No. 5 It can be seen that the least common expression among American people is number 8 which is never used by 66.7%, sometimes used by 26.7% and always used by 6.7% of American people. Whereas in Vietnamese culture, the least common expression is number 15 with 86.7% never used, 13.3% sometimes used and no one always uses. Expression No. 8 Expression No. 15 It is obviously seen that American and Vietnamese people share some common expressions. They are: 2, 4, 5, 9 and 13, of which each is always used by the higher percentage of people than the percentage of sometimes and never in both cultures. Expression 2 Expression 4 Expression 5 Expression 9 Expression 13 There are 3 expressions which are common in Vietnamese culture while they are used by American people at very low percentage. They are: expression number 8, 12 and 16. And on the other hand, the expression number 7 is only common (always used by 83.3% people) in American culture whereas it is never used by 66.7% of Vietnamese people. Expression 7 Expression 8 Expression 12 Expression 16 3.1.2. Amount of expressiveness in American and Vietnamese cultures Table 3: Amount of expressiveness in American and Vietnamese cultures It can be seen from the table that most American and Vietnamese people choose not to show their disappointment clearly in social interaction. 73.3% of American people do not have clear expression of disappointment while 60% of Vietnamese people select to do the same. Chart 2: Amount of expressiveness in American and Vietnamese cultures However, the difference between the two figures indicates that Vietnamese people do not show clear expression of disappointment as much as the Americans. Therefore, it is understandable that the percentage of Vietnamese people who choose not to show their disappointment is higher than that of American people (26.7% and 20% respectively). Meanwhile, there are still 13.3% of Vietnamese people showing their disappointment clearly whereas this percentage of American people is fairly low (6.7%). 3.1.3. Amount of expressiveness in Vietnamese and American cultures as seen from informants’ parameters Culturally, the background of communicators has great impact on the perception and interpretation of the nonverbal messages. Thus, the researcher tries to find out the influence of some of informants’ parameters on the way they “decode” the nonverbal cues of their communicating partners. 3.1.3.1. Length of stay or work with native people American informants have stayed or worked with their Vietnamese communicating partners from 0.5 year to 11 years while Vietnamese informants have stayed or worked with their American communicating partners from 0.5 year to 8 years. However, if the informants are divided by the mean value, the numbers of informants in two groups are significantly unequal. As a result, the informants are divided into 2 groups basing on their length of stay or work with native people: less than 1 year and more than 1 year. The statistical result is as follows: Table 4: Amount of expressiveness as seen from informants' length of stay The table shows the influence of the informants’ length of stay or work with native people on their perception of the amount of expressiveness. The first thing which can be seen from the table is that most Vietnamese and American people do not show their disappointment clearly. Despite staying / working for long or short time, informants claim that the majority of American people choose not to show clear expressions of disappointment (42.1% as observed by informants living less than 1 year and 90.9% as observed by informants living more than 1 year). The same thing can be said about the informants’ perception on Vietnamese amount of expressiveness (70% and 80% respectively). The table also reveals that there is a significant improvement in the Vietnamese informants’ perception of American amount of expressiveness. In the eyes of informants living or working with the American less than 1 year, 36.8% of American people do not show their disappointment. However, after living or working for longer time, these informants claim that only 9.1% of American people choose to do the same. In contrast, the perception of American informants seems to have little alteration, even no change. 3.1.3.2. Cultural knowledge The cultural knowledge of informants varies much. So for easy and convenient statistics, informants are divided into 3 groups basing on their understanding of the native culture: much understanding, not much understanding and no understanding. The statistic figures are presented in the table below: Table 5: Amount of expressiveness as seen from the informants' cultural knowledge The table shows the informants’ perception of the amount of expressiveness under the influence of cultural knowledge. The informants’ perception seems to be proportional to their cultural knowledge. With limited understanding of native cultures, informants are still not sure about American amount of expressiveness (with 50% not showing and 50% showing not clearly) and Vietnamese amount of expressiveness (with 25% showing clearly, 25% not showing and 50% showing not clearly). However, when they have gained a good knowledge of the native culture, they all agree that both American and Vietnamese people do not show their disappointment clearly (100%). 3.1.4. Influential factors on the amount of expressiveness The components of communication have certain influence on the strategies people use in communication. Among these components of communication, the participants and communicating situation are of prominent influence. Therefore, the author wants to find out if there is a relation between these two components and the way Vietnamese and American people choose to express their disappointment. The result is presented below. 3.1.4.1. Communicating partners Table 6: Influence of communicating partners on amount of expressiveness in American and V